Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. The number of licks, I mean. Because in some world, the video game is real. Meanwhile there is a vast conspiracy at school to keep me ignorant about my pawn roll in the other vast conpiracy by keeping me vastly bored. : I've had this nagging fear that I am part of some random but vast conspiracy (about what I'm not sure but it must be vast). I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. Jonathan Coe's new novel - The Rotters' Club - contains a sentence of 13,955 words. You remember my Moose's arch-enemy, don't you? I love the little tacos, I love them good! That's why it MUST be EVIL! When I pressed her, she confessed she didn't know what chrisianity was. To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider, When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest Sentence in Literature: Read the 1,288-Word Sentence from, 100+ Online Degree & Mini-Degree Programs. In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemenif you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. As long as the bear blends in, you know? I'm so very, very tired. I'm back. It's pushing down on me, squishing my spine. Anywaythat was my family vacation rant. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. It's because of the "evil little faeries with sharp little teeth." We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. Apparantly Grape Pie isn't mainstream, but it has existed for some time. In return companies would make a profit, pay their workers better. You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! This sentence is the longest. Now, most families will go bowling, or putt-putt golfing. Wellbetter goI need to plan this out moreI'm back. Definitly. People need to make the time to waste time. HenceforthCode: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. Work. I think. Sign Up , it unlocks many cool features! Yea*waits for applause* okay! However . Haha, oops. Though the record has been broken, Faulkner's legacy lives on. There is exactly 500 units of distance between the two extremes of winning amounts (0 and 500) BUT! Or CRAP, for short. But now I realize that I am considerably more normal than the rest of my family. The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotter's Club, 2001. But for now I can only dream of that. It feels unstoppable, and then it stops. YOU'RE ALL ZOMBIE THIGH-FAT PEOPLE BROUGHT INTO ANIMATION BY SOME EVIL FORCE OF FORCEFUL EVIL!!! When I'm older, I would like to have a fursuit, go to furry conventions, all that stuff. Maybe they're here right now! In obscure cookbooks. How did you do that. Wal-mart TV is evil. She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. Yeah. If you don't understand the concept of numbers less than zero, (negative numbers) just skip this part. !STARE DEEP INTO THE STINKING ABYSS OF MY INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED SLICES!!! I'm backand it's several hours later. 8 min ago EryeahI'm back. What kind of reasoning is that? Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? That way I can spread my love, joy and insane chaos to more people! (on accident, vast number of times) Hee-Hee! How could I forget the stupid Tootsie Roll Pop Commercials? It took him to my quiz page. Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. Then he preceeded to trash my room, scattering kleenex everywhere. Woooo! The possibilities are literally endless. "Meg" wrote it for a school assignment. If you're awake to hear it, chances are that you've already noticed the smoke, fire and eminent danger. I'm leaving. Speaking of publishing, I do plan on somehow, someday publishing this as the first rambling narrative that makes no sense, and is about as interesting as rereading the almanac. In return for not taking the easy route, he gains a power in the more or less real world. NowI'm gonna go and worry about the light on my toaster ovenseeya! . I added to the lenghth of the LTE without even thinking! There were many people that were the same age as me and my siblings (no one in the room but us were under 30) Us kids had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the bar ( I almost fell asleep during the last game I watched) As we left, there was a feeling of goodwill and fellowship between all(my sister locked me out of the car and wouldn't let me in untill I started yelling profanity in her general direction) The high point of the entire night was when my mother gave me $21 for my report card. Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. Either way, I'm here. How can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. You seewhen it's hot, you want something cold to eat. After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. Read that onetime longest sentence in literature, all 1,288 words of it, below. The best way to be brief is to quit now. Isn't that sort of ironic? I better goI think Kodak is tracing my site.I'm back now! Obviously not. But everything else I've said so far is true. Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff. That makes me feel alll warm and fuzzy inside. I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. It deludes all of American's sweet, innocent, candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! I don't exactly have a good track record with virtual pets. Okay. In other news, I participated in the Second Battle of the Asparagus Wars and chronicled them here. This sentence makes strategic use of the past perfect, two times. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. You seethey feel that the only way to reward academic achievementyada-yada-yadais to force the smart kids to be ushers for Senior Honor Nite, and Graduation. Good. That's why it's here, and not some critically acclaimed site. Remember that rant I did on how there could be a secret camera in the smoke detector? But, if it had remained that way, I would have had no impetus to continue my pointlessly insane ranting. We had to do an essay on a book. I had some conspriacy or another to rant about. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. aSk anybody. Since I have a rather weird phobia of touching my own skinthis made my evening my own personall torture session. I guess I'll just have to wait untill my imaginary clone hijacks that imaginary bank truck. A lot has happened. But without the bad sound track. as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. My mother visited relatives. All because YOU tried to convince me that I was crazy. Any way, that's it for now. My sister is a big believer in the memorization system. I even came up with a mathematical explanation for why gambling is fun (while I was eating a hyper-speed dinner, thinking nothing of getting back to the slot machine). The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. I even impress myself. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. It's great for making random topics weave together to form an overall infrastructure of chaos. Second of all, you would have to have the patience to read through all of this. Each Friday, I wait (all tingly with anticipation) for the weekend so that I can stay up 'till the wee hours of the morning and sleep past noon. It's true, and all, but I have no proof about wal-mart, or certain fast food resteraunts. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. theni got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. :) Seeya! Which I suppose may be a good thing, seeing as how I'm currently in a Longest Text Ever Rivalry with Galaxy Dreamer's site. Sad to admit, but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself. Not a member of Pastebin yet? It's not like I have anything better to do. JOsh says it was only one piece of cake. Since then, hundreds of authors have been inspired by the experimental writers sentence structure, including James Joyce, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Samuel Beckett, and other modern literature greats. It would make no sense. I think mine involved a jaunty song to sing. But people buy name brands. I don't exactly know where it isoh, well. It was down for a whole day or so 'cause of all the traffic I got from my new quizes. DROOOOOL OVER MY MAGICAL POWERS!! Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. The PSOA have been whole-heartedly working for you, and what have you done for them? You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. Her enemy is a fake Yorkshire Terrior (same species as her) made entirely out of goat hair. responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer. In any case, I hope you enjoyed our patheticness. Boy, are you mythical, mystical readers in for a treat, today! The only reason the makers of Cheese-Nips don't get sued is because of the tast difference and Cheese Nips are made of real "cheese" rather than cheez. Longest Sentence. Warning: this product is illegal in most states) Wasn't that entertaining? We made a guild, and I wrote out the transcripts of the first ever Asparagus War in narrative form (mock epic, very cheesey) Since it's very, very long, I'll post it here to meet my imaginary word quota for the day! Air pressure. | 13.41 KB, JSON | Alrighty then. Some even go so far as to claim that Kodak "changed" the pictures of the assasination to make an assasination in the bushes become a tree's shadow. * (*Not a guarantee) (Next commercial)Have you ever wondered why food sometimes goes bad in your fridge, even if you've only had it a few years? Should you violate this right, you will become destroyed or possibly dizzy. Sonow I am down to one and a half readers. That's just silly. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. That also explains why normal stuff confuses me. Purposly damaging the skin so you can look "attractive". Out loud. 46 min ago Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. It was fairly fun. With knowledge you can win money and the opportunity to look like a dork on national television. Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. Wasn't that semi-entertaining? Sowhen the oracle said that the choice had already been made, she was completely correct. This means that we only have a very short while to prepare. I felt more fufilled when this site was a barren wastland of useless space. (Note: I wrote virtually none of this, so I cannot be blamed, credited with any of this. Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die. Everything is fine. Now I have decided to go for a world record. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with reading food labels. *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. I know. Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. Or maybe you're just skimming. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. That had nothing to do whatsoever with subliminal messagesit's just cool to say. And lots of you are probably gloating 'cause you don't have to get up 'till 8:30. It was fun. Ooooo! Too bad. Now, I'm not speaking from personal experience here. They're disgusting, bland and definitly not made of cheez, whatever that is. That's all. I know, unlikely, huh? My family has always bought Cheez-Its, to the point of making me physically sick at the thought of eating one. I feel special. Like a muffin. He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas presents, and anything he can find. What I mean is, you wouldn't be very proud if the average person said that they just took a dookey on the toilet, and you wouldn't be very proud if they knew who fought against the Union in the Civil War. It seems like blaggerent plagerism. Physics is so FREAKIN' hard! They'll probably just call us weird and laugh at us, but that's beside the point! And now, back to our featured presentation. That's the point you're trying to get across? We thank you! Think about it. I needs the duct tape! *reader starts inching towards freedom* I better goI think that I may have a problem brewing. If you you don't have time to waste, what are you doing here?!!! Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. You thought you'd gotten rid of me. Remember to send your answers to my sanity quiz to the e-mail account, flamingchickens333@hotmail.com Oh, and once I refer to myself in the first person again, the handbook quote is over. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. She didn't think it was weird, either. (No, I don't like any of those creepy "pop" stars. If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. If not, then some day, when the Internet is down and I'm really bored, I will construct a model OFCR and attempt to launch it. -actual aids. **** MY NAVEL ITCHES!! If I were to suddenly convert this entrie site into a *shudders* Backstreet Boys fan site or something, you wouldn't be any more suprised than I would be if my brother woke up one day and suddenly realized that he's shallow. Well, my squirell now has an arch-enemy. *holds up a piece of paper, which, from a distance, appears to have writing on it* Yes, undenyable proof! Maybe she just doesn't like goat-smell. He ignored the fact that he was also a 72 year old "sanitation engineer" somewhere. So if you have an infinite number of people, some are going to have entire books of coherent stuff. Only if I had multiple personalities. Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. Wellseeya! Remember, e-mail psopc@flaming-chickens.com the much needed suppliesif that is possible. So when you kill, or whatever, in the game, you are actually ending life somewhere in the universe. HOLY WAX! I'm sure some so called "scientist" can prove all my theories wrongbut how? I thought of a topic on the way home, but forgot it. If you're asleep, the fire will wake you. It was sad. But that is false! I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! For an ENTIRE MONTH I have possesed the arcane knowledge, but I forgot to share it with you, my loyal potentially imaginary reader. HA! I said "The Union fought" With a crack, snaple and pop, some random synapses in her brain connected in the right order and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" Needless to say, we ignored her. Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. Except for maybe five and six. That teaches our youth that it's okay to agree to help someone, and then ruin their experiment. Sonaturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. OH, DON'T YOU SEE THE TOENAILS?!! Gee, I hope not! And because she was the head fasion bimbo, everyone agreed that the look was definitly "in". Death is like life in that after you die some things start life again inside of you. Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? For all you know you could be staring at that freaky 3-D maze screen saver with a blank look on your face while you THINK you're reading an inhumanly long text. Right? ", or "Wow, I never knew that!" My mom said that she didn't care. Okay. Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! They are the samething, with the same look, and almost same name. I better stop typing before I have a heart attackjust rememberThe Matrix has youI'm back. 1,288 words and many clauses make up the lengthy run-on phrase. And I've realized that I am a complete idiot. What? She promptly borrowed $1 to help with the waitresses tip(This part I'm not being sarcastic about) All in all it was a night I'll remember forever (as the lowest point in "family outing"history, except for that time my mom dragged me to a church thing on the concept of truth.) I bet you couldn't tell. I gives you imaginary IOU'shereyours. Not that I know anything about medicineor cancer for that matter. There are now longer sentences in . I'm back. The end is not here. Ya know ya got ya ya girl ya ya know ya ya boy you got caught with them and then ya got a robot in the car with a car in your head that was the best dog ever and you can call me and call him when I wanna is it time I get off work I will see if I gotta I wanna is a time I got a ride truck truck ride and iiiuuyr. I worked for four hours at the "Library of Terror" sponsered by TAB. We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. Does the commercial take that into account? No longer does school teach use reading, riting and 'rithmitic, it now teaches us ranting, raving and rambling! The following is everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time period. And then go door to door distributing it. Ooooooo! But I must. In this article, the reply and even if they could it wouldn't do them any good because it would scare them instead of the aformentioned individual. And very concerned about this new, younger generation (all 10 year olds who were born in 1992) They are supposed to be the future. Founder @ World's Best Story amplifier of creativity & fun! I think. Is fat-free food more delicious than food loaded with fat? For more information, e-mail EnpuUnknown@msn.com Wellseeya! All along, my entire family has scoffed (nifty word, isn't it?) of toilet paper, to do everything. Which is why I still go to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! And almost never finish. They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. *smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! MOOOO! CHEESE!!! It's like this. Of course, said adults would have to peel their butt-cheeks off the couchbut they'd have to do that for the delivary man anyway. Okay, fire is loud. It would sneeze, then start it's eight-hour-long death hum. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. This morning, my Mom came home from work. Celebrating creativity and promoting a positive culture by spotlighting the best sides of humanityfrom the lighthearted and fun to the thought-provoking and enlightening. Especially since no one but me would ask the question. The distance between the two extremes of how much I could have won is 1000np, making me feel like I've won much more than if I'd played a normal game. Why do weird people (myself included) obsess about monkeys? Now, a long time ago, people were sort of smarter. So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. Although why you'd be here if you didn't want to read is beyond me. You cannot follow the vast, mind-boggling logic that is ME! I'm fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. So we were already off to a bad start. I'll tell you. The six longest sentences (1,000+ words) are mostly a curiosity, just to see what is possible. i cannot feel my feet. I'm going, you're on you're own! You could be floating out in empty space, conjuring nice little fantasies to relieve the monotony of being the only living being! the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. The Official FLaming-Chickens Handbook already confirms that fact! The longest word entered in most standard English dictionaries is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis with 45 letters. It's yours for only 3 bi-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B-Gon is practically guaranteed! Then you'll need an "extra" pairfor special occasions. Then I do my homework. 189,819 Letters Yes, that number is correct. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. Isn't vast a funny word? Time for another boring disclaimer!!!!!!! I can't remember what. Seeya. The sentence below was found in a legal contract, and was until recently the longest sentence we had seen in an official document. I hate Math. And I sugest that we build the rocket so that we can go to the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony so that we can laugh at the stupid earthlings who are blowing up because they didn't listen to us when we tried to warn them about the impending doom! Then everyone would cut and scrape themselves to be covered in scabs. There is a world where you are a slave to your TOASTER OVEN. (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. They started shaking and barked their little heads off. You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? We were supposed to write about a cherished child-hood toy, and attempt to turn our fond memories into a commercial. I think I hear a monkeyOkaynow I'm back. It's a worthy cause! I don't want year-round classes. On video games. Today's rant is a panic rant. And, you have to remember that because infinity is infinite, you can divide it an infinite number of times. Cheese is watching. The author's vision was unique in that only he put biscuits and death in the same sentence. in Books, Literature, Writing | March 14th, 2019 30 Comments. | 13.45 KB, JSON | I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. My little, eviler sister got her ears pierced when she was relativly younger. You wanna play that way. I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazyhey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! I'm back again! You can't blame me. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!! Soit doesn't bother to find all solutions, and it may be wrong. It's early. The fake blood seeped into the open wound. Far away. there were lots of fireworks. It's been pretty quiet here lately, which is why I haven't added anything to this text in awhile. I get home from work at 5:30p.m. Open Culture scours the web for the best educational media. One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it notetc, etc. Or maybe the Energizer Bunny. Are you ready? He once said, It was Faulkner at his most involuted and incantatory who most enchanted me. The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotters Club, 2001. These cookies do not store any personal information. Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? but they did not give the award because i was a kid :C, @arkin It is supposedly the worlds longest published novel in English at 2.5 million words. Pathetic. And still frustrated. (and redundancy!) Today, I took a long look at this site, which is the acomplishment of almost a year of work. I'd probably lose money, but the concept is interesting. Sometimes I crack myself up. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. i'm back. There are not enough words in the English language to describe the sheer coolness of the fight choreography, special effects and the plot. Between her bickering with my sister, and obsessivly playing neopets games, I don't know what to do with her. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. Also, I guess I still am trying to get the world record. I suppose that is the bane of all authors. After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. The last day, we were deciding where to eat. Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it:) I am officially back. Which is why it's not even 10:00 and here I am, typing. It looks right. I took a whole bunch of personality quizzes and posted them there. I can just see it nowIt could be called Know-Your-Food. Were hoping to rely on our loyal readers rather than erratic ads. And absolutly NO air-pressure. i am tiredbut cannot go to sleep. Hours of completly useless fun! THANKS FOR COMING! Now sure, I could have won more than 500 at some game in which you don't have to pay to play. It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". Its in the mail, I promise! I know where you are right now! Fortunatly, my mom recently finnaly switched our snack food preference. Neither of us thought to question the other. It sucked. I swear. Too bad. Not only that, but there are an infinite number of different kinds of intelligent life. Wellbetter go before one of my two and half sane readers falls asleep:) Seeya! Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. I wonder what it's name would be. Maybe. Any way, I'm leaving to eat some Cheessy goodness! No suprise.
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