Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. You don't say that about cats. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. ''It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. JIM STAFFORD. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating. They OWN YOU. 41. Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. "'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So I don't trust none of them. ", 116. You have OWNERS! "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. #AmericaWakeUp. ", 75. They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. Amen and Awomen. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. ", 29. "Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. You have owners. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. You can't be winning a culture war if most people hate you and your culture and it is causing you to lose elections. "It helps to remember this.. Join. After that, they dont want to know about you. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. Occupy Wall Street activist completely SLAMS FOX News | An unaired interviewfootage, Brand spanking new memes of Bernie Sanders at theInauguration, Bernie Sanders as Grogu (Baby Yoda) from TheMandalorian, The best of Bernie Sanders memes from BidensInauguration, Obama was better at everything Video comparison Obama vstrump, Lindsey Graham states that African Americans can go anywhere in SC as long as theyre conservative, The best description of trump Ive seenyet, Woman with Fake Boobs Larger than Watermelons - Seriously, she's a Z-cup, Houston TX Officer on Trial for Stealing Food from Fridge, The Princeton Random Generator that "predicted" 9/11, The Top 20 Things You Can Say to Irritate a Republican, Popular Toys and Games from the 1970s and 1980s, The Return of Debtors' Prisons - SLUniverse Forums. Keep your circle small. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. It takes up a lot of your time. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. "Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. "We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. ", 81. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. ", 19. Theyre not interested in that. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . ", 102. Its a big club and you aint in it. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. ", 110. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. ""These days many politicians are demanding change. "There's a humorous side to every situation. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. ""The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Set aside 30 minutes to watch investigative journalist Whitney Webb speak with MintPress News in the video above. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. The Great George Carlin. "Never argue with an idiot. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. F*ck Hope. Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. The people are f**ked. Everybody complains about politicians. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech.  Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. AdScale sets this cookie to target ads by registering the user's movements across websites. George Carlin quotes are hilarious. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. But this week, his voice has brought to life a new anti-Trump video called America Wake Up, created by a. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. ", 11. This cookie is used to track the behavior of a user within the current session. Set by Bluekai, this cookie stores anonymized data about the users' web usage in an aggregate form to build a profile for targeted advertising. ", 112. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. You caused the problem. the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big, red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day., This video is completely devastating for Trump. This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. RIP George Carlin. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. They should be more vivid. "The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. It helps in improving the performance. - George Carlin. They don't want to hear from you . George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet Everybodys going to save something now. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. Forget the politicians. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. This cookie is used to collect data on user behaviour and interaction to make advertisement on the website more relevant. "My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. But once the child is born? Issued by Microsoft's ASP.NET Application, this cookie stores session data during a user's website visit. Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. '", 93. ", 101. They've got the judges in their back pockets. Believe me, my friend. "How is it possible to have a civil war? From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. ", 104. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. "In America, anyone can become president. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. This ensures that the cookie consent box will not be presented again upon re-entry. You dont. 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. This cookie stores a visitor's unique identifier for Chartbeat tracking on the site. ", 46. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. But dont participate; it will be your death. ", 114. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. MediaMath sets this cookie to avoid the same ads from being shown repeatedly and for relevant advertising. ", 31. I'm used to dogs. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", 3. Which doesn't make any sense at all. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. They own everything," the quote reads. You ever notice that? ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ", 35. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. I took his shoes. A cat . "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. ", 92. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Next, honor thy father and mother. ", 97. AddThis sets this geolocation cookie to help understand the location of users who share the information. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. '", 70. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! You voted them in. This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, Back In Town, Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. . We're all fucked," Carlin once said. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. This cookie expires after 30 minutes but the timer is reset if the visitor visits a new page on the site before the cookie expires. ", 51. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. ", 45. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". ", 105. Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. They own you. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? ", 33. Broadly speaking. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.' The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. ", 58. George Carlin : And I'll guarantee you one thing: you start executing, you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross on national TV, you're gonna see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. You have no right to complain. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. They don't want to hear from you. "He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. ", 4. "I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. ", 91. You have owners. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. ", 34. 02. Trouble is, most of them suck. Everybody complains about politicians. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. ", 53. "It helps to remember this.. "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' ", 66. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. ", 5. "It's called the American dream . ", 107. Now I feel better. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. The people are fucked. George Carlin, Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. 28. r/antiwork. We're so self-important. NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. "I was a loner as a child. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ", 98. Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. ", 9. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. ", 13. They own you. Obedience, respect for authority. That's against their interests. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. Because you have the illusion of choice. They own and control the corporations. If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. Im tired of this shit. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. "I have lots of ideas. This cookie is used to manage the interaction with the online bots. Then youre just what theyre looking for. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". "Everyone smiles in the same language. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. The game is rigged. ", 62. The cookie is set by Snapchat to show relevant ads to the users by tracking user behaviour on Snapchat. ", 80. This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. No nothing. '", 73. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. This cookie allows the website to identify a user and provide enhanced functionality and personalisation. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. They dont fall out of the sky. Thats what the owners count on. "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. ", 52. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. He's not a cheese. "Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Going after racists, sexists, fascists, and aiming to bring those who try to restrict freedom to justice. Thats right. ", 88. ", 50. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. ", 122. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. "It's never just a game when you're winning. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president would have particularly peeved him. You have no choice. You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! Never join a group that has a name. Enter your email address to follow Motley News. ", 18. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. ", 86. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. What if I want to have a crappy day? Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? ", 109. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Its because volunteers work for no pay. They own everything. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? Amazon Pay uses this cookie to maintain a "session" that spans multiple days and beyond reboots. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin. If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Teach them to question what they read. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application.