I dont know what to do.I know that i need companionship.I cant go through life alone.I miss her so much. I just want to leave and not hurt him to bad. Your partner wasnt in love with you anymore. But really, act like your all shocked and surprised? If he can just walk no strings attached then I dont want him back. now i got to know of her infidelity causing her to move out of the house, leaving the 3 grown up children with me. I must think it is permanant. You are not going to die .Your wife who is supposed to love you has been seeing another man no matter what the excuse this is not acceptable. *the relationship feels like too much work. Recently we tried to get this back but he does not find me attractive although I am slim, fit and look young for my age. Im going to make what might seem a peculiar suggestion, for the sake of those who cannot get over something like this. You can get a new cat or dog, or you can even get a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Well I am the adulterous turned bunny boiler. Well she met me and and my legs were shaking really bad while I was talking to my wife about what I found and showed her. Read some of what I wrote I was married for 21 YEARS and mine did the same thing. help me please. Hi my name is Matt. The healing has begun but I still have to decide when to start the divorce process and am terrified to go through it as I always valued marriage as really sacred and wanted to build a lovely family of my own with the person that I thought really loved and appreciated me, but of course we were never in the same page. Well I agree that these might be some of the reasons people leave, but I disagree with the coping responses. I still manage to stay positive through it all, that is the most important thing you can do and the best advice I can ever give. He is so evil, my family went with me to get my things and said he looked sick and crazy, not the person they thought they knew. Put my foot down and told her if she ditches us again that weekend I would be done. He lied to me while he still lived here after he decided we should separate and told me there was no one else when he was already texting this girl behind ny back. Please someone give me some advice. Their loss. She recently said she used no protection with this guy which is so unlike her and cant believe she would risk pregnancy and her health she just does not care. We talked it over and he told me all the things I was doing wrong to make him unhappy I aired a few of my worried and decided actually nobody wanted to leave and we would put the year behind us and take it month by month and try to get back to the happy place we were in before the last year. I miss the small talk. someone whos been through abuse or bullying, What to do when your husband or wife abandons you, speaking with a mental health professional, acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/cncr.24577, proquest.com/openview/4bd906a16b2a72068a059378348fb0c1/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=41641, How to Let Go of Past Hurts: 8 Ways to Move On, Podcast: Resiliency, Passion, and Trauma Recovery, Podcast: Working Moms and Self-Care with Brooke Burke, Podcast: The Latest Research to Live Happily Ever After, Podcast: Is Media Reporting on Mental Illness Fair? The kids were emotional wreck thing of this, so I told lawyer I hired that we were muddy the waters and I will take the pfa so the kids dont have to go thru this. Coming back from an affair is possible, but most often the trust is severed and cannot be recovered. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. I have no control over their daily lives with her I can only be thankful her parents are so actively involved in her life which she has thus far been able to suck the life out of them to the point I dont think they will last much longer. Since that day, naturally, nothing has been the same I still love him very much and care for him but I feel like we arent meant to be together anymore. I have other kids from a previous relationship and I felt saddened by it all at first. We were happy. God the waves of dispair are so crushing. Hardly functioning, feeling helpless. I cried all day thats just a way to release what I feel. the other part of me knows that he will never accept the blame or even address it so I am not kidding myself. When its over When you split up, you may find it very hard to let go of your ex-partner. 1. I was paralyzed, I couldnt stop thing about her about us about him about our kids about the hell they were living in. I have been with my partner for 5 years we live together, our relationship was very fiery at the start there was quite a few break ups over various reasons, in the last 2years we havent split up once or even had a big enough argument to consider doing that, we have had petty little arguments but thats about all. If he truly loves you and wants this marriage to work he will do what it takes. What hes regretful about is not leaving. I have read this article and Im still trying to get my head around my wife wanting to leave me (married 1 year 11 months, together 7 years) for a guy she has only known for a few weeks and I cant understand why she would want this. Maybe you want to place your studies on hold for awhile or get your family involved to temporarily help yout. The councilor suggested that I pay a visit to my gynecologist to get things checked out. Jackie I feel your pain as you know my situation. I felt like I couldnt breathe, there was a tightness across my chest and I carried it around for months. She will not even contact my son, my god, what has he done wrong. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112. So just like you want to be loved and cared for, he wants the same thing. Getting in touch with a professional relationship coach is one of the best things you can do in order to start taking care of yourself and living a fulfilling and happy life. She will not put in any effort whatsoever and couldnt imagine being the same family we pretended to be all week on the weekend. And he got away with it, because if the corrupt Judicial system. Sometimes youve got to just let it go. He said no, that for the first time in years he finally had a best friend. Whether you broke up with them or they broke up with you, a breakup can leave you feeling heartbroken. They then make efforts to reel you in again ! Im not comparing my experience, but evil is evil no matter what level it is onAgain Thanks for your response. So he had plenty of time to do what he wanted to do. You can meet new people, try new things, and pursue your dreams . If youve suffered anything like I have, youve probably been kicked to the dirt a time or two by your man. My husband left me as he fall o love with a woman online which he has never meet. After 24 years of marriage, and 27 years of being together, my wife told me she no longer was in love with me. I know for some people, strength is a lot more difficult to find within, and some people may not have a support network around them, but with Mint Movement, I want you to know you are not alone. . I think she kept downing our relationship. And how the friends of a man or woman who then leaves there partner for another is accepted. Kept promises: A promise, is a promise, is a promise, unless you are married to a narcissist. Very nice article, great to help people move on to enjoy the rest of their lives, your kindness shows through, thank you for writing it. The whole that used to be my heart was devastated. Breaks my heart and puts my own unfortunate situation in perspective. Two still reside with us. It sounds like hes pretty unhappy, and possibly with himself. I did however have enough control of my wits to get a lawyer and try to speak for my innocence in court. She gets outraged and calls me every name in the book and thats that. Life was great than soon after he started being very mean to me yelling at me calling me names hanging up on me and than not evan coming home for days at a time. We spoke a lot he told me he had met someone else but it meant nothing to him apparently. Yup its called life. She threatened the same thing back in 2006 but begged to come back when I called her on it. Well the next week she filed a pfa against me to leverage her getting the kids half time and support paying child support. I hate being alone. I know that whatever is meant to happen will and nothing will be too much for me too handle as Im not in this alone. My partner of 11yrs has just done the exact same thing to me. Next day she goes to Illinois. This is what she wants. . I started loving my wife when I was 15. My husband of 10yrs left me, said he didnt live me anymore. He worked days. What happened? Youre going to feel happy and wonderful again. She came home and during our talk she slipped and said she had slept in the same bed as him. I am now trying some dating sights.Right away some girl that claimed to live in Texas started e mailing me telling me how she loved me profile and this and that.Anyway i did a background check and found out this young lady lives in the other side of Africa.In Giane.She was trying to tell me that she needed money for documents to come to be with me..Yea right! We got a house then tried for another baby. I noticed subtle differences in her towards me, emotionally. Im not sure what exactly he was looking for, perhaps just being very emotionally transparent on an every day basis? So from experience, I know how emotionally tolling that is on your wife. Sleep induced by mess (legal) and a fetal position. I understand its a problem, but I can not figure out a way to stop it Well, self-esteem is highly important in any relationship. I also was finding 100 S of dollars in her car over and over and over with the pills. Js. My experience has taught me that you can only rely on one person in this world to love you unconditionally and that is Jesus. *they dont have time for a relationship Thank you for posting this article. Then we blame. Great resource for those hurting, and I mean real hurting. I rush home to sit in bed and wonder what happened. Youre young. He quit texting me while at work (we have lived together all this time. I just want to say to everybody whos experienced this, I feel for you, I love you with all my heart and know youre not alone, and that there are people who really care. Oh gosh Im sorry for your pain. You do need help, and having a friend or family member around is not only a great way for you to feel like youre not alone, but its also a better way for them to understand your pain. I am loosing my home in a few weeks because im disabled and she was the breadwinner. I need some feed back on how to deal with this.Please help me.Give me some Ideas. I searched out an old girl friend from years back, we met several times for walks and just talked. Neither of us if ever been unfaithful so far as I know. I do not try to figure out why as it only makes me sad. For example, its typically easier to digest the idea that you and your partner grew apart than it is to consider the possibility that he or she fell out of love with you. In addition, not dealing with your feelings of abandonment can create dysfunction such as anxiety and jealousy in future relationships.. Whens it supposed to get better? I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. I am so heartbroken but the more I plead a nd get mad, and for fight for our marriage, the more he rejects me and doesnt even want to talk. Think about the parts of Jon that could not be true to Jon because of her. Whatever, fine by me Ill gladly give up weekends for my kids. Found out that my daughter saw mom stapling $100 bills into $1000 bricks. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. 7. Part of me suspects my wife is one of the mentioned types who craves new love all the time. I am sitting in my home with four dogs and a cat while she is in another state confused and telling me she is no longer in love with me. My honey told me I am not happy, I am idiot & I am leaving you I have known that she was his 1st true love but its hard to believe that he threw away everything we had for her. stop letting him treat you like a paper plate and let someone treat you like fine china. I know you already got involved with child protect services but wonder if maybe if it comes from a teacher or the school system that might help you shine a light on whats going on in their house.I know its heartbreaking to think that your kids are exposed to such horrible parenting. I begged her to stay and to come to couples counselling which she refused, telling me to go to counsell on my own (2009). You probably thought we were going to say go get yourself a puppy or something like that. You did everything as a family, now where do you go and what do you do while the majority of your friends are out on their family days? Just found out my husband of almost 9 years is cheating on me online with a gay person. I dont know how you move 25 miles away from your son, my daughter left for college this year. Im trying my hardest to not hate her for this, and I get that I havent been the greatest husband having working long distance and her being unemployed, but its the lack of fighting for it that hurts the most. This I also discovered. I dont even know where to start now. I am caught between being committed to get through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff and being tired of all the conflict and chaos. And that this medication for *seizures* was effective *because* of the way my neurological system and brain was processing the lengthy aftermath of that injury. Two of my best friends over the years slept with my boyfriends and just recently after 7 years left after doing nothing short of being there by his side through all his crap. Only now its for real. I have 2 kids as well even. I have been married just for 8 months and my husband has abandoned the house. I will admit to being a bit of a pain Im a house wife and he would come home some nights and i would complain about something that happened at home during my day and it would cause a row because he felt as if I was always moaning at him. I will keep this no contact for as long as humanly possible. Apostle Paul said we humans face the test of times because we are like animals. I understand this. They got a place July 3. I actually threw up all morning and had to stay home from work. I asked him to move out before we settle divorce as I want to respect myself not wanting to wait till august to see if there are really both in live. He gives away our clothes and the kids toys while i am at work, saying that we have to much. After he left her for a younger woman, Mark Harrison was portrayed in his wife's newspaper column and recent novel as a selfish cad. This woman they will meet in August is the leader of the activist. I guess I still love her as pathetic as that sounds. You may have your theories as to why he's gone, or he may have given you a reason already, but it all comes down to one core . Technically, there was no reason that I should have still been in such pain yet I was. The sadness consumed me like an angry fire I couldnt put out. She feels like a bad person who cannot be forgiven for leaving her family. He is on disability because of multiple chemical sensitivity. I have been in counseling, a divorce support group and working everyday to believe that I am of value. No they will not. Have evidence that he was cheating on me with my business partner /emotional affair? I feel completely invisible in my own home. I put the number in and he had named her 1 of his work mates. With only being a year apart. I am sad but trying to get my life back together. thanks cassieD.I still call her every day just to hear her voice.I am waiting on a settlement from injuries that i received at work,Which i cannot return to because of the extent of them.She agreed to not seek lawyers or Divorce until my settlement comes through.I am still on her Ins.I also need my knees totally replaced.She agreed to wait until the settlement.I dont know i am so naive and blind.I dont want to think that she is going to take my settlement also.Maby thats why she is waiting to get the big D word until after she knows what the money will be. I was consistently reassured that yes, things were improving and I was getting better with my anger. All rights reserved. One thing we never were was abusive to each other but this morning in particular she punched me in the face out of anger. So cold, so heartless and has absolutely zero consideration for me. Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html, http://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. And it definitely should not be limited to the 5 mentioned here. He left his phone in the locker and i walked around for another hour looking for them. I smile all the time, Im happy and content despite the mess my marriage is in. Dont fall for it ! We went from 4 to 2 overnight in the household. And protect yourself because if shes not looking out for you you need to. She refuses to put in any real effort with the kids too, guess that comes as no surprise as you really have to be that way to have done THAT to them. REALLY??? Well she was mixing high doses of Vicodin and Soma pills . Your partner doesnt have anything in common with you anymore. We went through mediation swiftly and amicably. The following morning I came across more items that appeared to be missing from the house again and when I was once again told that he had given items to family members without even discussing it with me, I became very upset and hurt. . It was rephrased that I abandoned the family and since I made good money now I was responsible for paying the x with her new man $2,000/mo. I stopped for a quart of ice cream on my way home from work today, ugh. You can not continue to live this way. Cant sleep without sleeping pills or wine. It was almost like a death, but the person I was losing was still in front of me. Damn well I was paying half of the bills if not more. You will be fine in the long run but make him be financially responsible for you and your son and make sure you can get counseling to help you both. Still cant believe after a year and a half of unimaginable pain and recovery, I went back to help. We spoke daily our entire relationship and had never even apart more than a few days. You will overcome. He literally got off with everything and got exactly what he wanted. She told them that they were staying with me, she couldnt afford them. My take, my experience, the one who cheated and left wasnt as committed You may never get the answer you are looking for from your partner, but there are several common reasons why someone leaves a relationship. His behavior is classic. Instead of focusing on yourself, try to understand what is behind his decision. She had no problems telling me that she was moving out to her nieces. We separated, married other people, which we both confessed to each were the wrong people. I think if you Google about them you will also see so many similar traits in the comments (such as yours ) come to light. Even if your spouse returns, the relationship as you know it may have changed, and it's OK to express grief: "You're grieving the loss of this relationship, what . Ive never heard or read this suggested, but according to my own experience and analysis of it, I think it may have merit. "My husband left me because he was unhappy" can be a common thought when you're struggling with such abandonment. I am so truly heartbroken. And having them around will be the best medicine you can get. Before she left, we both confessed to each other that we felt more connected, more married if you will to each other then either of us ever did to our spouses. Be we can do it. They would go to the same school dances. It will get better. Unfortunately for people like us, the answers we seek will never come. I am well aware shes had a difficult life, as have I, and from the moment we started dating I let her know I was always there for her. Anyone who vetted someone over their mental health status wouldnt be worth staying with. I will admit that i have said some hurtfull things to her a long time ago.And she so has she.We have a son and when he was 2 she left me for a couple of weeks,then we got back together.then 15 years later i read some of her private messages on Facebook that she was talking to some guy.